The Real Way to Play Goalie

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Elharion
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The Real Way to Play Goalie

Post by Elharion » Sat Sep 02, 2017 3:16 pm

You guys don't understand how to play goalie. There are so many goalie guides but they've been teaching you this whole time is wrong. ResSlayer and TownKrier made guides with bad information to and then retired in an effort to show that all goalies suck besides them. So now you are going to finally find out how to really play goalie. Here is how it works.
1. When the puck is on your side leave a huge gap and act like you're covering it. The enemies will shoot right into you.
2. Lets be real here. Nobody ever goes short side except assholes on eu. Just put your stick on the cross shot and they will shoot right into you.
3. People try way too hard to do a one timer. Just pull a kde by running out of the goal to block the one timer pass.
4. Are the offense going around the side of your goal? No matter. Literally just stand there and they will meta it into you again.
5. If the offense is straight on the crease they're not gonna try to do anything besides just spam click right into you. Just spam back and forth and you're probably gonna save it.
6. In games purposely let in goals and blame it on lag and defense. People will think you're bad and take more easy shots.
7. If you happen to let in a goal not by accident just blame lag or defense. Then proceed to opt out of goal, never defend, and pretend like being a goalie is actually hard.
8. If it looks like you're about to lose just put a fake has left the game message and some idiot is going to leave.
9. If your team is losing then just opt out of goal and score yourself. Maybe papichulo will donate some energy and the goalie will just leave a gap that you can score in because north american players never shoot at gaps.
This is the true way to play goalie.
Rush, rush, gets his hacks from crush, he's a first rounder who gets carried by dust
Logik admit it you're copying poodle diving in the defense just not diving on duckslayers account first
What is a Chicago?
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Meepomart
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Re: The Real Way to Play Goalie

Post by Meepomart » Sat Sep 02, 2017 3:24 pm

I honestly can't tell if this is sarcasm or not.
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OzyWho
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Re: The Real Way to Play Goalie

Post by OzyWho » Sat Sep 02, 2017 4:45 pm

Elharion wrote:ResSlayer and TownKrier made guides with bad information to and then retired in an effort to show that all goalies suck besides them.
This made me want to ask you something:
If I wanted to check out some games of good goalies now, what were some good ones in ZHL 10?

I know I might upset some ppl, but idk if there are even any real good goalies atm on EU. Last regular season was SF, but even he seems to have fallen.
We experience something, evaluate it, and then we feel an emotional response according to that evaluation.
Reason is emotion's slave and exists to rationalize emotional experience.
Rationalize emotional response in the present experience.
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LoOgiK
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Re: The Real Way to Play Goalie

Post by LoOgiK » Sat Sep 02, 2017 5:15 pm

Sunshine axl maget
EUDL4 winner #10-0
1st best forum spammer
ZHCL 8 9 Winner
EUDL5 Manager
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VOTE KURT FOR S10 COMMISION
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iSpyGecko
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Re: The Real Way to Play Goalie

Post by iSpyGecko » Sat Sep 02, 2017 5:31 pm

OzyWho wrote:
Elharion wrote:ResSlayer and TownKrier made guides with bad information to and then retired in an effort to show that all goalies suck besides them.
This made me want to ask you something:
If I wanted to check out some games of good goalies now, what were some good ones in ZHL 10?

I know I might upset some ppl, but idk if there are even any real good goalies atm on EU. Last regular season was SF, but even he seems to have fallen.
tinyterran dominated thruout playoffs :p.
mar sara
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OzyWho
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Re: The Real Way to Play Goalie

Post by OzyWho » Sat Sep 02, 2017 8:31 pm

iSpyGecko wrote:
OzyWho wrote: If I wanted to check out some games of good goalies now, what were some good ones in ZHL 10?
tinyterran dominated thruout playoffs :p.
mar sara
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----------------
Edit: "ZHL 10 | Finals | Threat Agents vs. Tigers | Game 1" has to be one of the most fun ZH matches to watch! :o
Tiny is impressive! And it feels like he has a unique play style with some signature moves. Just gotta admire how efficient and fast his repositioning/moving is, how good his positioning is, and that incredible reaction time! :o

Btw. You guys really like that infinite OT?
:roll:
We experience something, evaluate it, and then we feel an emotional response according to that evaluation.
Reason is emotion's slave and exists to rationalize emotional experience.
Rationalize emotional response in the present experience.
DustDevil
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Re: The Real Way to Play Goalie

Post by DustDevil » Sun Sep 03, 2017 2:27 am

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Mets
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Re: The Real Way to Play Goalie

Post by Mets » Sun Sep 03, 2017 4:28 am

LoOgiK wrote:Sunshine corsinus axl maget
Agreed!
"This is the most absurd piece of garbage that can't even be applied to the actual league. Great job embarrassing yourselves."
Vapour wrote:Tenkz who loves off mets
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BacKFisCh
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Re: The Real Way to Play Goalie

Post by BacKFisCh » Sun Sep 03, 2017 12:41 pm

Since the first days of EU Zealot Hockey there has only been one true top class goalie: SwedishDoll
#votedraftleague2015
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LoOgiK
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Re: The Real Way to Play Goalie

Post by LoOgiK » Tue Sep 05, 2017 2:26 am

Get alt binds nerds
EUDL4 winner #10-0
1st best forum spammer
ZHCL 8 9 Winner
EUDL5 Manager
Redline tourney finalist

VOTE KURT FOR S10 COMMISION
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